Upon My Mother Turning 85

 

I remember being seven and climbing onto your back in glee

When you substituted graciously for a park tree

I remember uneaten tomato sandwiches moulding in my tiffin

Which you made with such care and I casually disdained

I remember the unending concern that fuelled frantic telephone calls  

While I was gallivanting blissfully absent for days from the hall

I remember knocking on the bathroom door to give you my exam result

And now I regret so much not seeing your face exult

I remember you rushing to get ready for Sunday church

And morning drives through a sleeping Delhi at breakneck speed

I remember you always were the fastest driver I know

And perhaps the luckiest

I remember you telling me how you studied after lights out, 

And I remember it as such a burden, 

With your parents always finishing first in school

And not being good enough, but today it fills me with laughter and pride.

I remember every meal you cooked and every serving dish

And how I complained when I was crass and foolish

And today I long desperately for a taste from your kitchen

I remember the hug you gave when you told me your husband died 

And how you stood elegant and proud when they buried his coffin

I remember your stubborn courage

Speaking up always for what you thought,

Getting into arguments & 

Fighting might in the Supreme Court yourself

In your 80s.

And I remember today that I am unworthy of this amazing love, 

and that I am immensely blessed.

Happy Birthday to the beat of my heart.